boogabstell

I have been with my boyfriend for 14 years, he has been an alcoholic for the whole time but a drug addict for the last 6years. We have a 5 year old son together which makes all my decisions even harder. He has overdosed numerous of times and once in front of our son when he was 2. This last September he was out of control he was shooting cocaine like it was going out of style. He would stay up until 5am or sometimes not come home. One night he came into the bedroom and said he had it and wanted to be with someone else, so I told him if that is what he wanted then do it. He said it many of times but never did until that night. Then he started to write suicide notes and carrying around guns. So I called his siblings who lived out of state, so they could speak with him. They called the police (mind you they lived out of state) and police came and went away stating he was fine. He was very upset with me and I heard from one of his friends that he was still talking about suicide so his sibling called me and I told her. They called the police again, police came and took him away 5150 for 72 hours. In the meantime everyone told me to get out of the house before he came back. So I packed up my entire life and my son in less than 72 hours and moved 1000 miles away without him knowing. He found out and was upset of course. He finally agreed to go to rehab in November for 30 days which he stuck with. I was very happy with him. We had been talking and getting along and working on getting back together. The morning of Christmas Eve our house burnt down, he was ok thank god. He had to go throught all of that alone, watching our house burn down, trying to salvage anything from the house, living in a hotel, and now he lives in a house that our insurance has set him up with. Anyway I am living with my mom for now have a job, my son is in school and we have stability. I still love him and want to be with him We just took a trip out to see him and it was very difficult. After 10n days of being there my heart was very emotional. He says he wants to be together but needs help taking care of the house and paperwork, and some other stuff. I noticed that he was still sticking a needle in his arm and his reply was that since I took his son away and we were not together it did not matter. If we were together this would not happen so he says. When my son and I left back to my moms he said Goodbye, he was hurt that we were leaving again. I was hurt also and my emotions were to grab onto him and let him know that I love him. So I freaked out and called him a million times but he would not answer. come to find out he had overdosed on a "cocktail" and was sleeping it off. So I made a decision with my heart and told him that I would come out there to help him in 2weeks. To sum it all up I think I decided with my heart not my head, how do I tell him that I love him and want to be with him but he needs to come my way and be sober? I feel if I do it will completely crush him and he will go off the deep end, and he will not trust me. Sorry to ramble but I needed to vent.
Thanks for reading and giving your advice!