I also suggest Al-Anon, because it's pretty clear to me that living with an alcoholic has screwed up your thinking. That is NOT a criticism--I've never met anyone who has lived long-term with an active alcoholic who didn't learn some messed-up thinking as a coping mechanism.
Alanon saved my Moms sanity. I didn't know she went until last year when I told her I was going to AA. We are trying to get my son's mom to go to Al-anon because of my alcoholism in the family. Good luck!