Welcome.
It took 5 years for me to even realize my A was an A. I am not sure if that was because I had no prior personal/family experience with alcoholism or not. Another 5 after that during which it got progressively worse,(fast, it happens fast once it starts) until I got out. The only silver lining that I can see is that you don't have to go through it. You really don't. You can get out whenever you want to. It's not easy, but you can. The fact that you have found us says a lot, I think. I hope you keep reading and posting. This site saved my life, I am sure of it. Have you ever gone to Al-anon? Another great place to be......especially if you are considering staying with your A. They keep the focus on YOU.
M