alcoholism as a disease.......
If I never acknowledge this, will it halt my progression?
i think probably so. My AH has been drinking heavily for 20 years. 3 cases a week to my knowledge at last count. 15/16 beers on saturdays/sundays easily. Drink until he passes out. Drink until he is literally out of his mind. Wake up at 6am drinking. go to bed at 3 am drinking.
Why would anyone choose this? Rationally, I would think one would not. So much alcohol the brain is not the same as it was before he drank. The brain has changed somehow.
Maybe the disease comes in the form of changed thoughts due to changed brain matter or function.
Maybe in his thoughts, he wakes up and goes to sleep longing for the drink because it keeps him from actually thinking things, he does not want to think or feeling things he does not want to feel.
maybe the thoughts when he opens his eyes are I need a drink. nothing more. maybe he simply has lost his will power at this point.
He does not choose to be a drunk. He does not choose to be miserable.
Then how can he choose to want to get better?