Originally Posted by
eddie73 Thanks everyone for your great replies. I have long gotten over the stage of mourning for alcohol when I give it up. It seems that my return to drinking happens suddenly and aggressively, without much temptation-more like a trance. It takes seconds. I am still on step one and step 2. I have tried to hand over many times, but do struggle with the higher power notion. I will have to keep trying.
Perhaps AA is not for you? Have you considered other routes? Professional counseling? I don't believe in a higher power in terms of recovery, either. Don't let that deter you