Rose,
It sounds like this is a time of change for you. I know you said you decided to stay but how about looking at staying as a one day at time deal? At least that way you don't feel trapped....you can change your mind tomorrow.
You do deserve to get something back. Also one of our biggest codependent traits is giving until there is no more to give.
If this seems like a round and round dilemma maybe that is because your HP is whispering in your ear. I know you have one...I know you are spiritual. If we don't listen to the whispers they just get louder. Could that be what is going on? You have been struggling with this relationship for as long as I have known you.
You deserve everything can get out of life. You are active and determined but you seem frightened.
Hugs,
JT