No, it doesn't aound like surrender and good for you for noticing that!Took me a while..what lalamy said is so true..you will not always feel like this..you may for a while, but feelings change, and knowing that helped me when I was really in it..that one day I would be back out..
As for the baby thing..lots of people on here suggest going to the adult children of alcoholics forum on this site to seee how alcoholism effects children..you may wind up really patting yourself on the back for your decision..