jbyers,
IMO, she's reeling you in, my oldest AS does the same, and usually, I feel kind of bad, by not responding, so I do. THEN it starts all over again.
IT is not cold hearted not to respond.
I think we just feel that way because we're parents and we have compassion, and kindness in our hearts.
My problem is I need to learn how not to react, because it's such a natural response for me.
Hang in there.
Do what feels right to you.
Hugs from one mom to another.