j
You don't seem cold hearted at all. You are a mother struggling with what to do in a situation where the thing that feels "right" is the wrong thing to do and where what feels "wrong" is right. It's difficult at best.
I think greeteachday had a great suggestion. Examining our own motives and taking a hard look at our actions and reactions (or no actions) is the best way to determine what we should do.
Just want to say that we're here for you. It's a tough path to walk being the mother of an addict.
gentle hugs