I am just not religious anymore so even though I tried, it just didn't work for me.
LOL it's not a religion, hun. It's just a fellowship of people whose desire is to stop drinking. Just a bunch of scared people helping themselves by helping each other out.
Everybody is urged to trust something bigger than themselves. Many people call that something "god". Sounds like you're getting stuck at the "capital G god" thing. There's a lot of folks (like me) that don't do religion in AA or anywhere else. Just substitute the word "god" for whatever thing or concept or even just a feeling that you think has more power than you do.
I was told that if I didn't believe there was anything more powerful than me, I should go down to the beach and not come back until I had succeeded in stopping the waves from coming in. I'm from a beach town so that got my attention quick LOL
It really doesn't matter what you use as long as you get the underlying principle, which is that you're really not all-powerful and in charge of the universe. Heck, I can't even control my drinking, how am I going to run the universe?
If it was me, I would try going to a few different meetings if it all possible. Just sit in the chair with my mouth shut and my mind and heart open. I'm betting if you do that you will hear exactly what you need to hear.
