Originally Posted by
Tuffgirl 
I think sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own hurt that we fail to see the hurt in others who hurt us. It's there, underneath the surface of a guy trying to stay sober. So maybe the quacking isn't really quacking - maybe it might be trying. Just food for thought...
Tuffgirl has made an interesting point. I have no doubt that your RAH is in a lot of pain. He probably is doing the best he can.
I've never met your RAH but I know that my AH would run right over me if I didn't keep my guard up. I don't intend to let him do that to me again. If my AH decides to flush his life down the toilet, I'm not going with him.
I have a right to protect myself. I have a right to look out for my best interests. If that means I don't tell him everything I'm thinking and doing, that's okay. Why feed him information that he could use to destroy my future?