Yes, I'm feeling that right now too. AH and I have decided to divorce, no turning back.
I still mourn the loss of all these yrs (18) unsure if I was ever really loved.
I'm sad that I don't have a partner to grow old with either.
I'm sad that I don't have someone by my side in case I get sick.
I'm sad that I don't have someone to love me.
I know he could never carry out any of the above, but I always had hope that things would change. Loosing my dream or potential has been the hardest part of all this.
Like you, I never really lost him. There wasn't much of a person to lose. I lost lots financially, but he wasn't an active partner in my life in anyway. I lost the dream too. I think it's hard to let go of hope.