Thank you for your honest share. I can so relate to the drinking part of your story. It will never get better, I promise you that. I would quit, then when I took that first drink it was a bigger snowball each time. You can do this one day at a time. You should consider AA or some kind of support system of your choice. There is all kindsa info. on this site relating.
We also have a cool chat group here if you wanna hang out and get support from others 'like us'.
Congrats on taking the first steps, again, you can do it, One day at a time.