My last and hopefully only relapse was just an error in judgement on my part. I had really lost the will to drink and was pretty happy with my sobriety, but I decided to see how a couple beers would effect me being that I hadn't drank in about 3 months.
I had 3 beers and got no buzz and nothing happened. A week later I tried again with 4 drinks, and still nothing happened.
2 weeks after that I drank a 6 pack, and it really had no effect. The following week I had a large golf tournament where a ton of alcohol was served for free. I drank moderately probably 10-12 drinks over 6 hours had fun, and nothing happened.
A week later I had another golf tournament, and did about the same as the last, then came home and drank all night. Next thing you know I was back in the pattern for about a month, 5 days a week for about 3 weeks, until I finally realized what I had done, I had slipped right back to full blown alcoholism. Next I embraced my recovery again as soon as I got back in my right mind and after a trip to the ER for detox.
I caused my relapse, but now I am glad it happened because it made it real clear to me that no matter whether anyone else things I'm an alcoholic or not, I know that I am. And it also made me realize how easy it is to fall back onto the same path, and each time will be worse than the last.