Wow a lot of this sounds very familiar I went through that with my sister my 1st 5 years of recovery. When I got sober there was a part of me that thought my family and close friends should cut me a break, after all don't you see how hard I am trying? lol.
What I didn't get till I did a 4th and 5th step is I was like a tornado ripping through the lives of anyone who loved me. I caused a great deal of harm in my family.
They heard over and over about how this time it was going to be different, and yada, yada.
The hardest lesson for me has been what others think of me is none of my business
Things have a way of working out but it takes time it didn't happen overnight or even in my time frame.
It was vital for me to keep the focus on myself and to start worrying about how I was powerless and how my life was unmanageable.
You said it it was time to get real and if I wanted the miracles this program had to offer than I needed to do the work.
We can lead by example, that same sister who used to hate me so, well I am the one she now calls when she need help, but that would not of happened if I hadn't of grown up and took a real honest look at what and who I really was.