Hey my SR friends! Havent really checked in here for a while. Been very busy and if I am honest, Im just busy trying to deal with all the stuff going on around me.
But I appreciate you all for your help and comfort, and hope to be more regular here soon to contribute and to help others too!
My update... My SOON TO BE X AH is doing wonderfully! hes not 100% well but hes 100% better then this time last month. does that make sense?
He still has cirrhosis, he will always have that (until a new liver) but like our relationship - some things just cannot be repaired. the damage has been done.
The saddest thing is I see how much he regrets everything (ie; a commercial for a cruise came on the TV, we were supposed to go on it last year with our tax return but he spent $1500 of the tax return in 3 days) just stuff like that.
He is out of the hospital now and I have been visiting him regularly, taking our daughter to visit him, food shopping for him, cooking him his lunches and dinners in advance, hanging out for a little bit, (not every day! Im no martyr!) but I feel so sad and depressed when I am there.
Because now he is 'full time' the person I saw beyond the alcohol. the person that I loved. And it just makes me sad now. he checked out of 'us' for so long and now hes back but i cant love him like that anymore. i feel so depresssed everytime I am in his company. But I am so happy that he is getting/doing better. Oh guys I just cant explain it !