Hi Nolly,
I don't know... something about your story is striking a chord with me...
I am also 34 and have no kids. I am dating an RA. We met when he first entered recovery but didn't start dating until he had over a year clean/sober. He is coming up on 2 years shortly.
One difference though between your RAH and my RA is that mine goes to 2 or 3 meetings a week and fills his time helping out guys that are currently going through recovery at the Mission where the treatment center is. He actively works his steps, especially step 12... and I really have no fear of him ever relapsing. I would never have started to date him if I believed even for an instant that he would relapse.
A major difference though is that he is 54 and has had 2 failed marriages. But he has no kids. This is for medical reasons and not lack of trying on his part (lol!). We have discussed kids and he says he thinks he is past the point in his life that he would want kids but I asked him what he would do if I DID get pregnant and he said he would be perfectly happy with that. I believe him.
I guess I'm also a little different than you in that I've never actively WANTED children. But for about the past year or so I also feel that I'm nearing the end of my *good* child bearing years and I've been thinking more and more about having kids...
I'm sorry that you're going through this with your husband. You didn't say specifically in your last post, but are you going to leave him? Or try to come to terms on living a life without children in it? Has he started drinking again? Does he go to AA meetings?
I really hope the best for you (both of us really)... please keep us updated on what happens...
HUGS!
T