Thank you so much for all you replies. It has really helped me see things clearer. It is hard when you love someone and you have this fantasy in your head of being a happy family to see things as they actually are instead of how you want them to be.
So I have made a decision. Children with him are out of the question. Its not fair on anyone. Even if he came to me and said he wants a baby I do not want a baby with him. Our life would be hell. He would put too many expectations on a child and nothing would ever be good enough.
So all that is left is for me to decide what I want and need. I desperately want a family but even apart from that. Can I live my life never being able to please him. No matter what I do it is never enough.