Josay

Hi all, I'll try to be as concise as possible here. I'm 32, haven't drank since my early 20s, of course I started early in life. In my early 20s I developed anxiety issues, both generalized and full blown panic attacks. Some of the worst was after a night of heavy drinking.

Anxiety and a few other consequences I suffered from drinking convinced me that it was time to stop, which I did on my own, and never relapsed.

However I have occasionally used some other drugs, but never to the point where I would equate it with a drug problem. In the past 10 years I've smoked pot a very little bit and eaten extacy a hand full of times, although would not anymore. I have also taken Valium for anxiety, however that only seems to crop up a few days every few months. I've used it recreationaly as well, but quite rarely.

During my initial sobriety I was so deep into anxiety issues I didn't think of much else. Or really examine my drinking. Later after getting the anxiety under control I never went back to drinking mainly out of fear of living with daily panic attacks. Anyway most of the year the anxiety is under control now, and knowing what it is makes a huge difference, at the time I thought I was dying.

Now I find myself wondering if my drinking in the past was typical of being a dumb teenage/early 20s kid, perhaps self medicating for anxiety without knowing it, and not so much a evidence of a real drinking problem. I'm aware I'm prone to escapism and have some history of alcoholism in my family. But I also stopped drinking and smoking on my own when I decided to.

For years my anxiety finds me uncomfortable in many social situations. Situations I can't help but think could be smoothed out with a drink. In some ways I feel like it could have prevented me from blowing things with my ex wife.

So what I'm wondering, given what I've put above, is if it sounds as if I'd be safe having a drink again? I've never had much patience for AA and the dogmatic platitudes that I've heard from those circles, I have little confidence in getting an opinion I can value at a meeting. I hope that doesn't offend, its just how I am. And I'm reasonably sure I know what sort of answer I'll get here, but I truly think this is something for me to consider, and would be very greatfull for an outside opinion.

Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read to this too wordy post and respond. Best of luck to all of you.