Dry Drunk Husband
Hi everyone,
First post here! I joined here ages ago but never posted just read.
Anyway bit of backround info. Married hubby nearly 4 years ago and he was in recovery when we met (about 2 years sober). I knew from the start he was an alcoholic. We had our problems as he is quite fussy about things and finds it hard to just go with the flow. Once something is planned it is set in stone with him.
Anyway we discussed having children (before we married) and he said yeah some day. I wasnt in the best of health when we first married and he said when I was better we would talk about it. Anywat fast forward a few years and I am all better. I am 34 so I said to him no more stalling its time to start trying. He freaked out and said he wasnt ready blah blah blah we need to wait another year and when I pushed him further he said he never wanted kids. My world collapsed and I moved back home to my folks.
He rang his sister and had a heart to heart with her and said he was scared of having children in case he turned out like his parents ( he had a terrible childhood). His sister said he would be a fantastic father. Anyway his sister played mediator and we finally decided to just leave it to fate. When it happened it happened. Oh but I wasnt allowed talk babies with him. This was all a few months ago.
Over the last few weeks his stress levels are getting higher and higher. He refuses to have sx with me sometimes and often doesnt produce the "goods". So after a massive argument this morning I sat him down tonight and said we need to talk. Yeah right. There is no talking to him he is just unable to express his feelings. So anyway he got upset at me when I brought up the baby topic as I know he has been stressing about me getting pregnant. He shouted at me " There will be no babies, I dont want children".
So here I am back to square one. Part of me does not want him to be a father to my children as the way he is he would make a child's life hell. Part of me thinks if we had a baby he wouldnt have time to obsess over the bed being made first thing in the morning (this is what argument was about this morning).
I just dont know what to do.... I am lost!