Hi I agree with findingpeace, saying sorry for what you said I think will be important. I drank and my ex admitted at times said it was fun to push my buttons. The funny thing was he did not work for 10 years let me support the house all the bills got spending money from me, I lost my self esteem drank more and he then would get abusive verbally (terrible things said) that still shake me if i think of them. I know from the other side if he was to say sorry for a lot of what he said it would mean a lot to me and I could let some of those hurtful things he said go. Not sure if my reply means anything but I felt compelled to write. No matter if it is too late to save your marriage saying sorry for what you felt you did will matter.