I will gang don't worry. its like a veil lifting though. just writing these posts is therapeutic, sometimes to get a response is nice also, i get the whole helping others alcoholics helps yourself too. Double bubbling sex addict [ie the fact that im also a recovering sex addict with 18 days] probably doesnt make it easier.
Just been lying at night [as you do] and coming to realize [or suspect highly] that the reason my 1st flatshare failed primarily was to do with alcohol probably also. I think as i recall [i was 18 at the time] i wanted nothing more than to drink after work, of course having a flatmate [a randomer actually i found on some website i think] was a real drag to my drinking. I don't suppose living with a 18yr old blind [ie totally lost and not even wanting to reform] alcoholic was much fun for a 23yr old scots woman either.
oh dear, don't worry gang im cool-just fracked up. visiting my grandfather tomorrow-trying to jee up my family after years of being idiotic. i can but attempt it-it will be fine. day by day life improves. starting to enjoy my record collection again after a long gap.
i did have lots of alcohol/dug associations with music but totally enjoyed playing my cd's today and legally ripping them on linux - im a penguin!!
kevin