Those nice schedules we used to have with our partners aren't so fun anymore, aren't they? I feel your pain on it. Hell, my AW only tries when she's drinking. Over the years, I've tried to initiate intimacy during sober times and she always gave me some BS quack talk about how I made her mad, or something...
Sex is a pretty strong driver. Getting some detachment in place with it sure helps keep you in the drivers seat.