Chicory, I can't imagine having a child with addictions. It really is my greatest fear.
You can not undo the past or change anything about it. You can only do the right thing
in this moment. Don't get mired down in the past, or paralized by the future what if's.
Do you have a feeling for what the right thing in this moment is? When I was struggling with making decisions I took in all the information etc. and did what I thought was the right thing logically, in my head, even if it felt bad emotionally. It was the only way I was able to move. Everything felt bad or wrong emotionally because there was no answer, no decision, that was going to make things 'right'. I had to quit looking at the end result in my fantasy and trying to get there, and just do what was right in the moment.
You don't have to plan the next week or month or year. You don't have to know how they will play out. You do the right thing in this moment and you'll make a decision for next month when that moment gets here.