This is my bottom
Back to day 1. I am done banging my head against a brick wall. I have spent the last year stopping and relapsing and I am done.
I drank a lot yesterday. Nothing terrible happened but I was sitting in my car today and I just lost it. I was terrified and panicky. I felt so scared and hopeless. And I realized I am an Alcoholic. I am not special. I am just another run of the mill alcoholic and I have to harden up and do something about it. It hit me like a ton of bricks the power alcohol has over me.
So back to AA I go. I have been avoiding going back for a few months after I drank after a two month sober period. I need to do this. It is only a matter of time before something really bad happens if I keep drinking, my luck will run out.