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This is my bottom

Old 02-20-2011, 08:47 PM
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This is my bottom

Back to day 1. I am done banging my head against a brick wall. I have spent the last year stopping and relapsing and I am done.

I drank a lot yesterday. Nothing terrible happened but I was sitting in my car today and I just lost it. I was terrified and panicky. I felt so scared and hopeless. And I realized I am an Alcoholic. I am not special. I am just another run of the mill alcoholic and I have to harden up and do something about it. It hit me like a ton of bricks the power alcohol has over me.

So back to AA I go. I have been avoiding going back for a few months after I drank after a two month sober period. I need to do this. It is only a matter of time before something really bad happens if I keep drinking, my luck will run out.
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Old 02-20-2011, 08:54 PM
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I can relate to your post, Ozgirl...... just watching myself pick up a drink over and over again when I knew I had every reason not to.... it's a miserable place to be.

You really can get over the obsession and feel contentment again... it's just going to take a little work and some time. But you're worth it!

I'm glad you posted and glad you've had enough. You can do it - one day at a time.:ghug3
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Old 02-20-2011, 08:55 PM
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Hi - You can do it. I am Sydney girl too, and had an awakening,, I just knew i had to stop. Hang onto that intense feeling. Remember how good you felt when you didnt drink. I am on around 50 days and I just know from my very core that I have been given this chance to save my life and really live it.. You can do it - Just Remember how much you want it.
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Old 02-20-2011, 08:56 PM
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Hang in there. Don't be afraid to go back. Relapse is part of it and those peeps will support you. I feel your pain in a big way. I'm not even a month yet. You are lucky nothing bad happened and have another chance. Big hugs.
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Old 02-20-2011, 09:08 PM
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You can do it. Inafishbowl is right, be grateful you've got another chance. Be hopeful too. You're not just giving up alcohol, you're gaining freedom and peace.
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Old 02-20-2011, 09:12 PM
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I'm sorry...hopefully this next time you will be successful.
Wishing you a speedy recovery.
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Old 02-20-2011, 09:29 PM
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I think we all need to remember that this isn't somethin we beat. We don't stop for a certain amount of time...then get to relax.

Get back there Ozgirl. You can do this.
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Old 02-20-2011, 09:43 PM
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Thank you for the support, this is such a nice place to be
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Old 02-20-2011, 09:54 PM
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Get a sponsor and work the steps to the best of your ability.

With hard work and patience YOU WILL get to a place where you are at peace and enjoying life the way you were meant to. No obsession, no cravings.

Best wishes!
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Old 02-20-2011, 10:31 PM
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You know the rules Ozgirl, you got to post here first before you go out and take that drink. I glad you came back and posted tho.

For me I try to keep a balance in my life and if I see things start to slip, then I need to take action, like go to a AA meeting, call someone, and here one I like, logon to SR.

Keep Strong Ozgirl!
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Old 02-21-2011, 12:30 AM
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I strongly suggest you do get started on your AA Steps
go back to Step 1 and begin again
because that is when I went from shakey sobriety into
solid recovery.....

Welcome back
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Old 02-21-2011, 01:11 AM
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Oz glad you are back and you have made a healthy choice here. So glad to see you are getting back to your support and know we are here to support you.

Looking forward to the journey! For me accepting what I was and reaching out for support was the turning point in my life and I am grateful everyday
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Old 02-21-2011, 04:20 AM
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I hope this can be your last day one...
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