BobbyJ -
What worked best for me:
Surrender: Step 1.
Detach: A must.
I'm in the middle of a divorce and still have to live with him - 11 days sober which included a 5 day acute detox and a 48 hr treatment denial/trip. LOTS of quacking.
I'm a grateful member of Alanon - they taught me life saving skills in a nick of time. Detachment was huge. He can quack.quack.quack and I can smile and walk away - knowing that what ever truthful, clever or smart-ass comment I said - would make no difference. Once I surrendered to alcoholism - I stopped trying to control it - manage it and repair it.
We too had a shared business in his high-drinking days (18 months ago) we are now concluding our bankrupcty. Alcholism does not mix with anything: marriage, business, friendships or family ... all are eventually destroyed.
He's deflecting and trying to justify - walk away from the conversation. IF you get verbally taken down like I did - you will leave. He reminds me I don't tell everyone the whole story - so now I do. I make more people laugh when I tell them he's leaving me cause he didn't get enough sex! :rotfxko
I'm learning how to live for me - try it ... minute by minute ... you will soon understand what you want.
Take care of yourself FIRST!