Originally Posted by
Learn2Live 
I'm sticking my neck out here because I care about you and want to help, so please pardon me if my opinions offend anyone.
Chicory, really, he is not yours and he was not placed on this earth to be your treasure. You are using him for your own selfish purposes and that is not good. You are not protecting him. You are hurting him.
L2Lr I have to defend myself here. I know he is not mine, and by treasure, I mean that I love my kids a lot,and they are the best thing that ever happened to me. ( I think)
I am not using him for any selfish reason, i am just taking care of a person who needs to learn to do it his self, and I dont have much faith that he can do it.
I truly wish he was happy and in Canada somewhere......
I agree with everything else you said. i am hurting him and not protecting him. I have a big heart and would help anyone I could . but I am learning that helping is not always helping. i do it in most areas of my life. i have to remind myself not to try to fix peoples problems anymore. i am learning, just as a child who does not know how to walk yet and i am 59 years old.
coming from a big caretaking family, i have always been too enmeshed with my kids. an early life of poverty and fear of the future makes you want to help your kids. no one taught me to stand on my own, or how to parent. it is foreign, to let go, and let them suffer. but i know that I messed up there.
hugs
chicory