(((Chicory))) I'm sorry you are so tired and down!
I second what L2L posted above. Buffalo66 had a good conversation with a friend of her AH's family, a counselor, too, I believe.
As long as you continue to provide your son with a safety net, he will never hit bottom. As long as you refuse to let go and turn him over to his HP, his HP's can never really take care of him.
As long as you continue to feel as though you have to personally "keep all the balls in the air", you are going to be exhausted, depressed, and sad.
Your pain will end when you decide, chicory, that is your power!!!
Huge hugs and many prayers for you and your son. HG