Today my AS turns 28, so I texted a happy birthday wish with lots of love (he doesnt' take my calls). I wasn't holding my breath for a response, but low and behold, he replied and eventually called.
We did OK for about 1 minute, talking about his future plans (he signed a new lease with his current roommate-I was NOT expecting that; still has his job-I think subconsciously I wasn't expecting THAT either) then of course the conversation turned towards his hate for me and my husband and how "abandoned" he feels. Blame, blame, blame on everyone except really on HIMSELF. He even brought up his biological father who abandoned him at age 15. He hasn't talked about that man for YEARS, and now it's an issue. He told me how devastated he is now being abandoned by his mom too. Quacking? I told him that I was sorry his dad was still an issue for him, but it's a PAST issue and it's time to move on. Of course, my attempts at trying to explain to him I didn't abandoned him fell on deaf ears. He also continued to question why I didn't do more for him to get him help when he was here and when I reversed that on him and asked what he expected me to do when he was hiding and denying his drinking, he hung up on me.
Regardless, I'm feeling hopeful for him. He sounds like he's making plans and understands that drinking is a very poor choice for him. He is working with his roommate although to me it sounds like he's just using him as a crutch. He didn't sound drunk, but in all honesty I wouldn't bet on it.
So, a better day. More than I woke up expecting for my co-dependent self