Hi MrRay - I'd give anything to go back and save my 22yr. old self from the drinking life. I spent decades trying to control it, with disastrous results. You'll never have to look back & see a path of destruction if you deal with this now.
Your idea of being a minister seems a great thing to throw yourself in to. Keeping my mind occupied was key in the early days. The people of SR know just what you're going through - stay here and keeping sharing your feelings. We care about you.