Thanks Live.
I think sometimes its difficult to dettach from them when they are in the "early stages" and still haven't lost much, or their disease is not that obvious yet. For me it has been easy to second guess myself over and over...
XABF is also still a drunk 2 years later. He can fool everyone but not me, Mr Hyde is unacceptable for me, period.
He arrives drunk to work although his body is so used to it now that he appears normal. How sad when I think of it.
THAT is his "normal".
The ones who cared enough to mention this have also moved away from him.
Be gentle with yourself, you made mistakes in the past, what you do differently today is what matters. Chatting with healthier male friends is also good therapy for me, to realize there are many good, fun people out there (really FUN not the alcoholic "fun" that really is just misery)