Those obsessions are the road to madness dear soconfused.
I do remember you.
And I think this man has hurt you way too much already to let him continue do the same.
I recommend "The language of letting go" by Melody Beatty.
People don't change magically. Real change takes years if not decades! and takes constant effort, new actions, therapy, self honesty. Proof that someone has changed? he or she is no longer hurting anyone, let alone consciously.
So No, IMHO this guy has not changed a bit. He keeps wanting to hurt you to feed his needs. Its still all about him. Your mission, soconfused, if you decide to accept it, is to hand him to HP, hand her to HP, realize you will never know how it really is like for them (that it does not take away anything from you). For all accounts it is the same madness. When I start obsessing I imagine a bad experience with XABF and think she is the one there now, no longer me, and May God help them.
I mean it is just like us, right? when I went out with XABF everyone said what a great couple yadda yadda. To this day people think he is still a great person! where did reality show up? in my long nights crying alone, feeling the loneliest person on Earth, and in my therapy sessions. You never know what women (well, people) are really going through. I guess it has been an eye opener for me as I am now renting an apartment next to my therapist's home, and have gone to group therapy, and have met these seemingly successful, beautiful women that have it all.... and in reality they are destroyed internally or in really sad situations at home, behind closed doors...
BTW group therapy has also been helpful for me, to get more clarity about why I constantly compare myself and hurt myself this way. I think it all boils down to self worth notions. If I know who I am, the place I am in does not matter, what others do or do not do does not matter, what others think or do not think about me does not matter... no one else's apparent joy takes away ANYTHING from me....
The guy you want back or imagine he is now does no longer exist I am afraid. It is "illusion and fantasy". And sanity lives in the reality today... the reality for you... nowhere else. This guy is toxic and it does not matter if others are falling for his lies, or too hurt already to realize who he really is.
He is still toxic.
Hugs!! also of course I vote for No Contact and changing your #.
(Counting my blessings helps, too.)