"Is it possible that these men can find a woman, and maybe without the bad history, and a fresh start with someone new, can somehow change and be good and treat her right, even while drinking?"
No, IMO, I don't think so. It doesn't matter if she is nice or anything else. He is using this/her to manipulate your feelings. He is being successful.
Read "Why does he do that?" by Lundy Bancroft
It was recommended to me on this site. It changed my view of me and him. It is a lifesaver.
You can preview it on google books..which is what I did...and immediately bought it afterwards......
It will bring you comfort when you are able to see what he is doing to you..This book will open your eyes to that!!!!
