Hello, Habit!
Welcome to SR!!
Huge hugs to you and all the sadness and pain you have experienced because of your AD. My stepson is the A in my life. Mr. HG and I have sure been through a lot with him! But we have gotten much better at detaching, and our lives are soooo much more peaceful.
My A stepson is also very good at the manipulation. He wrote a letter to his father recently in which he said things like "I am writing this by lamplight using a pencil I found on the road" and "I'm sure you and 'HG' saw this coming" (as regards his current predicament). Actually, we had no idea that his current pickle was on the horizon!
It is hard, but you are doing the right thing by allowing your precious daughter the dignity of figuring this out on her own.
Hugs and prayers for you and your daughter. HG