All I can tell you is when I see a relapse coming with my husband (DOC herion) I hear some blaming and there will be no patience and frustration about silly things. There is a shifting of his behavior and personality. I can see it coming now days before it happens and I just pull away and leave him to it. I will also tell you I am putting money aside and making plans so that when it is time I will have the means to care for our kids.
Please take care of yourself and I am not sure if you are going to meetings you may want to look into those. I also see a counselor every week along with this site and it helps a lot.
My thoughts and prayers are going out to you