Please have the cameras removed from house immediately. This is exactly what goes on. Near constant contention.
I could list 100's of examples. But today's example: We were home together for about 10 minutes this afternoon. I then realized I might have time to run our sick dog up for an ultrasound. The ultrasound appointment had to be canceled as the missus couldn't get there due to her medical appointment. So, I call the animal imagery place and figure out where they are. I then say to the nice woman on the other end of the phone that I can "be there in 10 minutes". While I am still talking on the phone, the missus starts in on me about how there is no way I can be there in 10 minutes. I have to ask the nice woman on the phone to repeat what she is saying, as I can't hear either of them with both of them talking to me at the same time.
It took me 8 minutes, 43 seconds to get there. I just had to call her and tell her.
When I come home with the report from the vet, she immediately takes a contentious stance asking me numerous questions I can't answer, then asking why I don't have the answers, and why I didn't ask those questions. I just tell her it doesn't matter why, the report will be sent to our Vet in the morning, and then we'll know everything. If she wants to ask those questions, she can call them or take the animal herself next time. And I walk away.
From my experience, this behavior is just more of the alcoholic conditioning. By the replies above, it is again so similar that we are all living near identical realities with different people.
One day, not long ago, I had a little chat about this with her. I tried to tell her there is no reason to be so argumentative with so much of what I do or say. I used the old machine gun ammo belt analogy. That she should only have so much ammo to fire and she should more selectively choose which things to argue over. If it really makes no difference, even if she initially doesn't agree, would it kill her to simply NOT SAY SO? The next day was better. There were almost no issues. We had one very minor, normal disagreement over something relatively important. But that was it. She was able to change her behavior for one day. It was enjoyable while it lasted. Now she is back to her normal, contentious self.
Essentially, my wife's entering position is in opposition to mine. No matter the issue.