Good morning ((T))
Since my AH and I work at the same place I see him everyday even though we don't live together anymore and we have no contact. So it is easy for me to fall back into old patterns of thinking.
I do things like journal and have things to read for bolstering all over my office and at home. I certainly talk and read here. Also have always liked crosswords, crytograms, sodukos etc for mindful releases when my brain is spinning out of control. Helps to focus and slow down as a distraction.
But I wanted to say that changing these patterns takes time just like it takes the A time to learn how to live without the A. We are not only learning how to live without the A in our lives but how to live life differently sometimes in many ways. So how does one learn to change - just like exercising a muscle or learning an instrument - practice =practice=practice! I see relapses/slips as big opportunity to practice this change. It is much easier to practice when we are doing well, it is real practice when we actually have to move from one place mentally/emotionally to another.
Change then becomes evident by it happening less often, less frequently, we stay in it less time, etc. Much of this is reaction is brain based which is why it seems so hard but repetition makes it happen.