Oak, you may not realize it, but what you are doing now will have a profound impact on your husband if you keep it up. Your story reminds me of how the tables turned in my life: I always needed to rely on a designated driver after spending hours or days getting wasted. And I was the spouse catching flak for late night sessions with the boys. The roles have reversed now: whenever I'm with friends or family who are drinking, I end up as the designated driver and get them home in one piece. I love sobriety.