Originally Posted by
duqld1717 
Its only been a week or so since my XABF and I broke up. Everything that he did and said to me in the past is just now starting to effect me. Now that he is gone, I am left with so many bad memories and my self-esteem is so low. I have never been around anyone in my life who went out of their way more than him to make me feel so inadequit in life. I was never smart enough, rich enough, pretty enough, thin enough, funny enough, whatever whatever etc. Its my fault for letting him do this to me but now I feel like a dog that has been beaten to the point where I feel ashamed to be in public and I'm paranoid everyone feels that way about me. It really took a toll on my emotions and my soul. I know its all in my imagination but I really do feel very forlorn and guarded. I use to be so outgoing. Emotional and Mental abuse is just as bad as physical abuse. Can anyone relate to these feelings after a breakup or divorce and how did you rise above it?
OH YES. Your post sounds so familiar I wanted to cry, and I don't cry easily, and I've been divorced for ten years.
TIME is the answer. It takes time, and you don't know it now, but you WILL come up stronger than you ever were before, like a piece of steel. What you are going through is normal--while the abuse and the heartache is going on, you shove things deep down inside yourself and don't look at them because you are dealing with the crisis of the moment. After they are gone, there is a period when all that shoved-down **** comes bubbling back up to the surface, and you just keep remembering and it is like torment. It has to get out though, so let it out. Writing it all down helps--it is a painful exercise, but it gets it all out.
I'm also going to tell you that just because you FEEL low and worthless right now, it doesn't mean that you are. You aren't. You are a strong woman who survived a terrible time, and you have to be patient with yourself as you learn to take care of yourself like the valuable person you are.