Originally Posted by
Muunray 
He wouldn't say much more about it except occasionally remind me he had already lost his dad to alcohol and didn't want to lose me to it too.
See, there's a difference, though... It's one thing to tell someone they need to quit drinking. That won't work right away, but sometimes it does seep in (and sometimes it doesn't). When I talked to him about quitting he was actually usually civil.
But that's not telling the alcoholic how I feel, that's just noting that there's a problem.
Trying to talk to XABF about how
I felt only left me open for him to attack and tear me down more. When I tried to talk to him about the impact it was having on
me or on
our relationship or how
I felt... He'd attack me, and twist it, and tell me it was all my fault, and use everything he could think of to hurt me, etc, etc. It wasn't about
him anymore, and that wasn't allowed.