Yup, I know the feeling.... is he going to get into a fight? Insist on driving when we leave? Find fault with my behavior and pick a fight with me?
YOU deserve better than that too. I'm not trying to tell you what to do. But I'm starting to think that physically ill felling you described is your body's way of screaming at you 'this isn't right'!!!
In a sick way, I wish I didn't have those 'normal' days with him, because they make me ignore the heartbreak, and the fear of all the other days.
But last night, I thought to myself.... I shouldn't have to worry is today going to be 'normal'. That in itself isn't normal, that's not how its supposed to work.
I'm really starting to see how being there through his binges is only enabling him- I clean up after him socially, bring in the money that alows him to sit there at the bar for hours, get him into bed safe, wake him up for work... He has no consequences to his drinking as long as I'm here. So, me staying is only hurting both of us.