But I'm just TERRIFIED I'm going to open my heart again to someone I shouldn't. Like completely terrified. Rechecking the phone. Tears. Anger. And then I'm terrified I'm letting my past control me...and then I'm never going to find someone without issues. I guess its just a trigger for me?
I have an anxiety disorder and have tried every concoction known to deal with it. Lately I'm mostly angry that it won't go away.
i wouldn't be getting into a relationship with anxiety this severe, but that's me. I'd be working on getting myself into a calm, happy place first. The new guy can't save you-only you can.
I'm sorry you're having such intense reactions. Have you tried at least 30 minutes of exercise? This will start to alleviate your anxiety, but the core causes have to be addressed too. Gotta dig that stuff out, look it straight in the eye.
In the meantime, my plan is to always first decrease the anxiety, then examine it. Kava helps me a great deal, so does Rescue Remedy.
Hugs to you!