Anyone Else Struggle With Anxiety Even After The Fact?
So I started taking my life seriously and my XABF's threats seriously as well. I am finished with school. He's seriously blocked and I can finally say that all emotional ties are cut.
My question is this. I started dating someone who is soooo wonderful. I really like him a lot. He makes me feel good, talking to him makes me laugh etc.
However, he happens to me in Medical School (how I went from a druggie to a med student..is something I ask myself all the time). And I admit after being treated so terribly for so long and I have certainly put this new guy on pedastal. I'm in therapy...I'm having lots of anxiety about finding a job, etc...
Well he's really busy with school and we don't talk as much and I try to mentally calm myself down...
but when he doesn't respond. Or responds in a way that is say, less wordy than how it normally is...lately its like triggering panic attacks. I felt okay when he was on break and had more time and stuff. But now it feels oddly familiar to be with someone who is unavailable (even though its for a much nobler reason) and I'm just like finding myself freaking out and going off the deep end if he doesn't respond right away. I have briefly told him kind of what I went through. So I feel like I can be open and honest with him, but I feel like if he were to know how much anxiety I feel he'd completely run off....
IDK i know the pms is exacerbating it all. B.c I get REALLLLLY REALLLY bad pms. But has anyone else had a similar sort of post panic thing like this?
When does it go away? I feel so stupid, b.c intellectually I know its irrational. But I'm just TERRIFIED I'm going to open my heart again to someone I shouldn't. Like completely terrified. Rechecking the phone. Tears. Anger. And then I'm terrified I'm letting my past control me...and then I'm never going to find someone without issues. I guess its just a trigger for me?
Does anyone else find themselves sensitive to triggers? I feel like I'm being needy or something......But it's like a very gut reaction since the X would ignore me so often to go binge ya no?
Any thoughts or input is appreciated.