Well, he started drinking and smoking (cigarettes and marijuana) around age 13. We have known each other since we were five (both 29 now), but have only been together for one year. He says he started drinking heavily and regularly about three years ago. Two years ago, he started abusing opiates as well (which he has been clean from for about six or seven months now). Over the past year, I have seen how progressive alcoholism is. It has always been an issue in our relationship and we have talked openly about it. He has made several attempts to "cut down" on his own, and each time failed. And each time, the drinking is worse and worse. A couple of weeks ago, he had serious physical withdrawls (dry heaving, nausea, "the shakes," sweating) daily, just from not drinking for a few HOURS. Of course, he self medicated with more liquor. Yesterday, he told me he'd gotten drunk by himself at home the night before and lost his keys and broken his phone, though he had no recollection of the evening. And last night, decided to go out and "party" in a big city nearby, drove home drunk, and decided to go for fast food at 3 a.m. He got stopped for a DUI a couple blocks from his house. Car towed, thrown in jail.
We've since talked, and he begged me to come over and hug him. I told him I couldn't, I didn't want to see him, and that it is not my responsibility to make him feel better. He's had at least one drink since getting out of jail, which makes me think he is waiting for the elevator to crash and burn, or go six feet under, before he hits rock bottom. It is so hard to watch someone I love kill himself like this. I don't believe in ultimatums, but I have given myself one: that if he cannot stop drinking, I cannot be with him. I hope he gives himself the same ultimatum.
