I relate to a lot of that. I agree that certain things got worse after getting sober. Of course that's because they surfaced and we know that alcohol doesn't solve anything, it just puts a party mask on it. Other things that I didn't have to deal with very often came back, like insomnia. And I notice that I obsess and worry over things more now, and it seems like I can't multitask the way I used to do.
All of that is how it seems to me.
The way I have been looking at it is that it takes perseverance. I have had thoughts about drinking but I don't have the desire; I don't desire it. So that leaves me with a dissatisfied feeling and then I have to shake myself out of it and it usually goes away pretty quickly. I understand firsthand a lot more now what people mean when they say that "quitting is the easy part." I see it that way now too, and notice myself using that phrase when I am replying to posts here.
Sometimes it's like I am feeling a discomfort that is familiar to me, that takes me back to my early 20s, before I drank chronically. So that makes me ponder again: well, it's not "worse now than it was," is it? It's just that the alcohol put it aside much of the time.
Anyway, I still have days when I have a gladness out of nowhere about still being sober, and it still amazes me. (What's one year next to around 15, right? Of course it should still be new.)
There are also some things I need to have straightened out in my life and that is a challenge, but I know myself very well: once I do accomplish those specific goals I will be confronted with dissatisfaction yet again.
So the cyclical nature of all that adds up to a lot of mental barf. But I have some experience at using new techniques to get my mind on the right track again, like new disciplines that work in my favour in the long run. Sometimes I laugh at myself and I get to have the pleasure in being self-deprecating (and letting go of pride issues - what a burden!) without being drunk.
And that reminds me yet again that people are probably right when they talk about pride getting in the way.
I could go on and on, and I am not finished with the work either!