Originally Posted by
MarlinVX 
I see your point, but still disagree. The doctors will very rarely be good, for as long as the sums of money involved are so ridiculous. Money corrupts all. Telling me to not trust my doctor and decide for myself is the right decision? I am supposed to argue with 8 years of schooling and so on. I doubt that.
IMO, I don't see it as not trusting the doctor; I see it as making an
informed decision about my health (or my son's or XAH's - when he was a husband - not that he ever went to the doctor or dentist. He 'sucked it up' and dealt with whatever until it nearly knocked him off his a--, example one entire side of his face swelled up to like double its usual size because of a bad tooth and he couldn't open his mouth to eat, his solution: drink more, that he could do... But I'm off topic.) Maybe look at it this way: Do you trust just any one to work on your vehicles? Or do you go to a mechanic, tell him what's going on with the car and ask what needs to be done? If you're saying that the brakes aren't working and he tells you that the AC needs to be fixed, do you believe him? Or go find a different mechanic?
I know finding a good doctor, one that you trust and one who has the same attitude towards health as you is hard. And it will be that much harder by having to relocate often. And finding one for your AW that she will actually see could be even harder....
Originally Posted by
MarlinVX I have already admitted that I am partially to blame for her problems. A husband and wife are a team, you succeed as a team, you fail as a team. There are no sides to pick within the marriage. M wife does not see this yet, but one day I hope she will.
Just want to say, it takes the whole team working together to succeed. Have you ever tried to run a 3-legged race with some one who flat out refuses to run? It's darn near impossible. It's up to your AW to decide if she's willing to do the work. I truly don't think any one is telling you to cut it and run, just if she's not ready to face it, she's not.
Marlin, you are not to blame for her addicition. How A's deal with their issues is how they deal with their issues. Nothing you did or did not do made her start abusing alcohol or pills or ... anything.
Back on topic for the advice I need:
My 4 year old thought momma was coming home today. My oldest knows his days of the week, and asked me today if she was coming. I had to choke back tears and tell him no. Ryland, the youngest, immediately flipped out. He wants his mommy. How do I tell him that she isn't coming. I can't lie to him, but he doesn't understand. My 5 year old, Roston, he gets it as much as a 5 year old can get it. He didn't shed a tear. I don't know whats worse, that he wasn't upset, or that the 4 year old is torn by all of this.
With DS, who was 3 when I left XAH, and is now 6, I simply told him that Daddy was sick and needs to get better. Kids don't process stuff like adults do. They don't have the words, they don't know to verbalize that they're sad or mad. They can still feel it though. Just showering them with love and letting them know it's OK to be sad/mad/confused about momma being sick, helps them so much. Answer any questions that they may ask as truthfully as you can in an age appropriate manner. And let them get their emotions out.