and one more thing...
...there are rules and there are boundaries. Rules exist when one person or group is controlling another person or group in order to establish control.
Boundaries are definitions of what you as a person will not accept. They have nothing to do with controlling the behavior of others, and everything to do with controlling how you choose to live and interact with others. They are also meaningless unless they are enforced.
I would strongly encourage you to set and enforce the boundaries you need to live. I would strongly encourage you to avoid "rules" at any cost. Many would argue this is an issue of semantics. I caution you it is anything but.
From one many whose wife came home from treatment to another, take what you want and leave the rest.
Cyranoak
P.s. Someday I'll publish my list of mistakes in dealing with my wife and the disease of alcoholism. I'm just not ready to publish something the size of War and Peace at this time.