Thank you for sharing your story with me
ShellCrusher. I see a bit of me and my past in your story about your early relationship with the person you are married to. Reading your post took me back to all the relationships I was in in my twenties, the partying, the bars, the so-called "fun." Then the drama, the anger, the lashing out......... It is all rather a blur to me now............ but Oh....... you make me see how I have ignored myself for so long and this is bringing burning tears to my eyes and a tightness in my chest.............
....Someone else recently posted their story here on SR that did something to me this past weekend. While reading it, and reading about their alcoholic spouse and their story, I realized, "My God, that is ME. That is who I used to be!" I acted out ridiculously during my twenties and even into my thirties: Drunk, stupid, manic, self-righteous, abusive, yelling, screaming, raging, and yes, cutting others to the bone as you describe. Yes,
ShellCrusher 
THAT is me too. And I did all of it with the rationalization and excuse toward EVERY man I have been with that, "YOU HURT MY FEELINGS!!!" You are taking me to a place in my Recovery that I have never been before....................