I believe I was born depressed and it got worse with every passing year. From my teens into my 40s I comtemplated suicide at least weekly often daily; alcohol was a slow suicide in itself. I rejected medication for my depression until I was in my 40s and had a breakdown, the medication helped a lot but during that time my drinking escalated more than ever so eventually it overrode the medication. Once I stopped drinking myself to death I was able to deal with a lot of the reasons for my depression and I no longer feel like a depressed individual; I've also accepted that suicide is not an option. I still have persiods of depression and feel hopeless but instead of wallowing in it with bottles of booze I now fight it as much as I can.